SEASON 2 EPISODE 10
(EPISODE 20)
INTRO:
“Ever since there’s
been school, there’s been field trips”.
THIS IS IT:
Here is a Big Pete
stand alone episode featuring what occurs one day on his school bus when his class goes
on a field trip. As he points out in his
introduction “field trips are supposed to be educational but one thing teachers
don’t get is that the real education takes place on the way there”. He describes the school bus as a “giant
incubator filled with the churning psyches of 48 kids” as inside “a sort of
chemical reaction takes place as people change” and “a class trip becomes a
journey into the darkest recesses of your own soul”. It begins with Big Pete’s class being briefed
by their teacher Mrs Drapusie about their trip to the Glurt County Milk Museum 6”
Mrs Drapusie goes on ahead as Driver Stu addresses the bus through his
feedbacking PA announcing “welcome aboard the Yellow Fever. I am your captain Driver Stu Benedict. Our travelling time will be approximately 60
minutes. We will be cruising at about a
speed of 55 miles an hour moving swiftly away from the twisted
wreckage of my shattered life”. And with
that the journey begins. The narrative
continues “in school you see the same people everyday, nothing changes but on a
long bus ride people reveal parts of themselves no one was meant to see”. Case in point is Wendell Hyde who on every
trip revealed a new side to the shyest kid in school. This time it was he dream of singing at
weddings and Bar Mitzvahs as he begins singing “you put your left foot in, you
put your left foot out” as Della Sum quickly tells him to “shut up” as her
revelation/problem is that for some reason just being on a bus makes her have
to go to the bathroom more than humanly possible. Then there was Teddy famous for eating his
entire lunch in the first five minutes of every trip, he developed a new system
of taking small precise bites to ensure half sandwich will last him until they
get there so that he will have the other half for lunch. As for Bill whenever he was on a bus it was
like some practical joke hormone kicked in as he places a sign in the window
that says “Help! Being kidnapped! Call police!”
However but of all the mutations that take place Big Pete’s is the
weirdest as he and Ellen continue to bicker about him sitting next to her as he
cockblocks her secret admirer, her lover boy.
With the journey now in full flow there is no turning back. Some people (such as Endless Mike) spend
their time twibbing while Bill keeps up with his pranking as suddenly an
undercover police car passes seeing his sign and pulls the bus over much to the
amusement of Bill (“I am king!”). The
next thing we see is Driver Stu being thrown against the front of the bus and
patted down and even though his story fits out the cops aren’t convinced that
he is fit to drive so they give him a series of gruelling co-ordination tests
including serving tennis balls at a pile/stack of five doughnuts and being a
human wheelbarrow. As Big Pete continues
to share Bill’s amusement Ellen asks what has got into him suggesting that next
he will be wanting to flick Mark Twib (“go ahead, there’s no line”). Eventually Stu gets back behind the wheel as
he addresses the bus with “an update on our new onboard regulations, passengers
will refrain from KILLING MY SOUL!” as he spots Pete arguing with Ellen and not
paying attention so he sends him to the back of the bus and the seat next to
Endless Mike as he states that he sees Pete is “having a little trouble with
your lady friend” as Bill sits down next to Ellen (“I guess your pal’s muscling
in on your girlfriend”). Back to Stu’s
regulations which end “and finally, passengers will chip in for gas. If you have any questions please do not
hesitate NOT to ask them”. Now the
transformation is complete as Endless Mike is now Big Pete’s buddy and Bill is
now considered a backstabber as he suggests to Ellen that “maybe you’re ready
for something new”. At this point Della
is making her latest toilet stop which is naturally testing the patience of
Stu. And thanks to Della’s bladder the
trip now found itself two hours behind schedule and “driving further into the
uncharted territory of our souls”. It is
at this time that Wendell sings his latest song sending a dedication out to
Mark and Sue in the back enjoying their three week anniversary as he breaks
into “Happy Anniversary To You” which Stu announces “ladies and gentlemen
Wendell Hyde, you can catch his act all next week, in detention!” Around this point Stu begins to ask “where am
I?” as it becomes apparent that he is lost.
As he screams with panic he stops to ask a scarecrow for directions go
as far as stepping into the field saying “excuse me Farmer Extremely Unhelpful”
until he realises “you are straw”.
Meanwhile back with Ellen and Bill he shows her his latest prank in the
form of armpit powder as she expresses that “this is not going to work”
addressing the note to which Bill exhibits ignorance. Now that Ellen knew the truth about Bill she
puts her arm round him in a safe gesture designed to increase Big Pete’s
jealousy so she can get her revenge on him.
As Endless Mike winds Big Pete up (“what a cool and inconsiderate beast”),
Driver Stu remains in the field now beating the scarecrow. Continuing to egg Big Pete on, Endless Mike
offers up the solution to take care of Bill: hot lava warmed exactly to body
temperature and mentholated (“do you know what that does to a popped
zit?”) “Vengeance is mine – say it
Pete”. With this Driver Stu returns to
the bus holding a pitchfork and covered in straw as he thanks the passengers
for their patience during a “little turbulence” before throwing the pitchfork
out the door and getting back behind the wheel.
Now back on the road it finally happens as Big Pete’s own dark side
bubbles to the surface as he concedes/confides that it feels great as he places
hot lava in Bill’s right hand prior to tricking him into touching the left side
of his face and causing him to scream with pain as it burns (“Menthol!”). From here Big Pete returns to the back of the
bus a hero/villain as Ellen looks on it disgust and Endless Mike welcomes him
to the club as he adds “lets say we celebrate with a little bubbly wobbly” as
they all pull out large bottles of Kreben Up which they pour on the floor
prompting a flood from the back of the bus and traumatising Della into
requiring a toilet stop. Now stopped
everyone gets off the bus and staggers around a field area as Stu expresses how
he is “exceedingly not pleased” and how he “joined the service to help people,
to do good for mankind” at which point he shouts Della in the style of Marlon Brando in A
Streetcar Named Desire who pops up from peeing complaining “I can’t go if
everyone is thinking about me”. At this
point Ellen calls Pete to task “way to go Pete, way to trash your friend” as
she maintains pretending that it was he who sent the letter and saying how he
is fun as Pete defends Mike as also being fun.
Now ready to get back on the road Stu does a head count only to discover
they are a person short which is Wendell who is in the distance singing a big
band version of “This Is Your Bar Mitzvah”.
With this Pete concludes “we had all reached the point of no return” as
footage of Mark Twib having his ears flicked coupled with Teddy, heaving eaten
all his sandwich, throwing his lunch measuring tools in a hole to be buried in
the ground as he shouts “I hate myself”.
Returning to the bus Endless Mike puts his arm around Pete saying “you
really showed that creep but what about the woman? What would make Ellen really mad?” as
suddenly they spot Mark Twib and Mike says “one flick and you’re your own man”
as Pete responds “its perfect” to sinister overtones. Who could resist? Those ears were calling to Pete, the fever
was pounding in his head. Then he does
it. Jumping up in pain Twib turns and is
surprised to see it was Pete. And he is
not the only one surprised as ever sees and Ellen yells “I’ll never talk to you
again”. Big Pete is now a certified
member of the Endless Mike crew. With
this Stu returns dragging Wendell back on the bus. Now with just one flick of his finger Big
Pete now finds himself having sent Mark Twib over the edge and now back on
board he decides to make sure that nobody ever gets off the bus again. And his method is to begin singing “If You’re
Happy And You Know It”, the forbidden song, much to the fear and panic of his
fellow passengers all telling/warning him to stop. As his rendition becomes more crazed it is
noticed by Stu who angrily puts his foot down and speeds up before joining in
and singing along. Even though it is
delivered with a psychotic expression the passengers join in as the next thing
we see is Stu singing and dancing along the aisle encouraging everyone to join
in. Eventually it is realised that
nobody is driving the bus as it heads towards an accident. Now in the zone Stu is unable to be drawn
from his rendition leaving just one person to snap him out it: Wendell Hyde. At this point Wendell begins singing more Bar
Mitzvah songs (“Hava Nagila”)
prompting the passengers to join in singing along with him but unfortunately it
doesn’t work as Stu remains singing his song.
Then finally we catch glimpse of the cliff the bus is fast headed
towards and the impending doom that awaits.
The next song that Wendell attempts is the “Hokey Cokey” which
everyone sings along to. As the song
ends Stu slowly snaps out of his performance as he overhears “no one is driving
the bus” as he calculates the meaning of the statement before spotting the
unmanned driving wheel and running to his seat braking just in time to prevent
the bus going off the cliff much to the relief and applause of his
passengers. Now safe Wendell is hailed a
hero and just like that it is over as everyone journeyed to the outer limits of
their souls and came out safely on the other side. Finally the bus arrives at the Glurt County Milk Museum
IS IT ANY GOOD:
Very good, almost Hitchcock like.
WHAT IT MEANS:
It means even the most
simple things in life at surface level have hidden depths. That and public transport is unendurable and
one of life’s necessary evils.
WHAT IT TAUGHT ME:
That it was not only
me that felt terrorized and terrified riding the school bus. That school trips are not educational. Also that you should not shit where you eat.
EXTERNAL REFERENCES:
There really isn’t
much reference to reality here. At one
point when Stu shouts “Della!” it is very much in the manner of Brando in A
Streetcar Named Desire.
BEST LINES:
“An update on our new
onboard regulations, passengers will refrain from KILLING MY SOUL!”, “Excuse me
Farmer Extremely Unhelpful.”
BEST JOKES:
Wendell Hyde’s
performance as a lounge singer is such an amazing and ridiculous concept.
PERIPHERAL MOMENT:
Previous school field
trips include visits to the Sioux City Moth Hatchery, the Triple A Ice Farm and
the International Cream Corn Expo.
REALITY CROSSOVER:
School bus rides both
daily and daytrips were always testing
MVP:
Wendell Hyde played by
Rick Faugno.
GUEST APPEARANCES:
Damian Young from Hal Hartley movies and later Californication appears
as Driver Stu while former SNL
cast member Ellen
Cleghorne plays Sally Knorp.
SONGS:
“If You’re
Happy And You Know It”, the forbidden song, the anthem of Stu’s love for
Sally. Wendell also performs stomping
versions of “Hava Nagila”
and the “Hokey Cokey”.
EPISODE LINKS:
Driver Stu pops up in
a number of episodes.
KREB REFERENCES:
Kreben Up, a lemonade
beverage similar to Seven Up.
PERCULARITIES:
Even though he gets a
credit Danny Tamberelli
does not appear in the episode.
OTHER:
This is the first
episode since Artie leaves Wellsville.
FINAL WORDS:
This is a very good
episode almost reminiscent of a Twilight
Zone episode (specifically elements of “Nightmare at
20,000 Feet”).
